Utilizing A Divorce Coach

Research shows that going through a divorce is the second most stressful event in a persons life, second only to the death of an immediate family member. In a divorce, grief issues such as denial, anger, frustration, confusion, and depression are usually involved. Many times there will be a sense of loss and failure. Reorganizing from one house to two houses can be very complicated for many families. Issues such as parenting schedules and amounts of support can be subjects almost too hot to handle. Divorce coaching is a joint effort between the client, their attorney, and the divorce coach to minimize these stressful adjustments.

Going through the family court process can produce emotional issues unique to those going through the experience. Many individuals who would not otherwise enter traditional therapy will utilize a divorce coach in response to these acute emotional issues. An experienced divorce coach will help their client identify “hot” emotional issues, and then provide their client with the necessary tools to respond appropriately to the triggers of those hot issues.

A divorce coach teaches their client how to be a proactive team member with their attorney, educating them on the benefits of focusing on a constructive, proactive, and solution-orientated agenda. The educational component of divorce coaching produces a client who is clear thinking and actively engaged in the process. With their client fully engaged in the process, the attorney is free to focus on what they do; deal with the legal issues.

An experienced and skilled divorce coach will benefit both the attorney and their client by providing emotional guidance throughout the process. With their issues heard, their concerns understood, and their emotions under control, clients are able to move forward in tackling the legal issues with confidence and assuredness. With blaming, shaming, finger-pointing, and other negative and destructive actions minimized, both the client and their attorney are able to concentrate on the constructive parts of their work together. For the attorney this provides the ultimate – a client who is positive, forward-looking, proactive, and solution orientated.

The following are some of the areas a divorce coach and client will work closely together:
- Identify and prioritize concerns about their restructuring family.
- Present effective conflict resolutions.
- Assist in learning to communicate in a non-reactive manner.
- Work to lower anxiety and to identify areas of stress and conflict.
- Assist in expanding the options and charting pro-active steps for the future.
- Aid in developing effective co-parenting skills.
- Learn enhanced communication skills to reduce misunderstandings.
- Assist in seeing the bigger picture of what is happening.

With the clients’ future (and the future relationship with their children) on the line, their financial security threatened, and their mental capacities stretched to the limits, the decisions they make during their time in family court will have critical long term consequences. Unfortunately, many of these decisions are made in a very short period of time and under the most stressful of conditions, mentally, emotionally, financially, and physically. It is during this time that a skillful coach will reach out and give their client as many tools as possible to get through the process. The immediate benefit of the client using these tools will be to alleviate the acute distress they are currently experiencing.

A divorce coach can change a clients life from reactive, confused, and stressed to becoming proactive, confident, and affirmed. Engaging the services of a skilled and experienced divorce coach is a win-win situation – a win for both the client and their attorney.