Divorce Coaching

Divorce coaching is a joint effort to minimize the stressful adjustment and reorganization of the family. No matter how amicable a couple may be, going through a divorce is a very complex and deeply emotional experience. Research indicates going through a divorce is the second most stressful event in a persons life, second only to the death of an immediate family member. In a divorce, grief issues such as denial, anger, bargaining and depression are usually involved. There is always a sense of loss and failure, and many times a lot of confusion as well. Reorganizing a family from a single home into two homes is extremely stressful. Post divorce issues such as co-parenting, child support and spousal support are always hot topics, as are individual parenting styles. A divorce coach has specialized training, education and experience to work with just these types of situations.

A person who decides to involve a divorce coach is a person who would not typically enter into traditional therapy. However, during a divorce, the adversarial process produces a stress and raises critical emotional issues which are unique to those going through it. Here is where divorce coaching becomes critical. As a divorce coach, I join with my client in a duet of cooperation. Together we identify the “hot” buttons in the relationship. I assist my clients by giving them invaluable tools to cope with the divorce issues which are unique to them. I teach my clients how to be proactive, rather than reactive. I educate my clients on the benefits of concentrating on the positive (constructive), rather than dwelling on the negative (destructive).

The following are some of the areas that we identify and work on together:

- Identify and assist client in prioritizing their concerns about their restructuring family.
- Present effective conflict resolution skills.
- Assist the client in learning to communicate in a non-reactive manner.
- Work with the client to lower anxiety and to identify areas of stress and conflict.
- Assist in expanding the client’s options and charting pro-active steps for the future.
- Aid the client in developing effective co-parenting skills.
- Teach clients enhanced communication skills to reduce misunderstandings.
- Assist the client in seeing the bigger picture of what is happening in their lives.

Traditional therapy may not be effective because a divorce produces unique and challenging issues that require specialized training, education, and experience. Although you may not want or need traditional therapy, during a divorce you will greatly benefit by the emotional guidance that a divorce coach can provide.
Family law attorneys typically charge from $350 an hour, to over $450 an hour. Their purpose is to protect you legally throughout the adversarial divorce process. However, they are not trained, educated nor have experience in dealing with the emotional and psychological issues of divorce, therefore the need for a good divorce coach.

With your future and the future of your relationship with your children on the line, your financial security threatened, and your mental capacities stretched to the limits, the decisions you make during this time are critical. Unfortunately, many of these decisions will be made in a very short period of time and will be made under the most stressful of conditions, mentally, emotionally, financially, and physically. It makes sense to reach out at this time and get all of the information and education you can. After all, information is power and within the adversarial family court process, you will need all the power you can possibly discover. The immediate affect of alleviating your stress today will have the added benefit of reducing your stress in the future.

I have found that information is power and when you are facing a divorce, you need the tools – the information – to put you in a more powerful position to help yourself and your children, thereby helping your reorganizing family as a whole. One way to gain significant power is through retaining a qualified and experienced divorce coach.

A divorce coach will assist you in narrowing your focus on the really important issues, without letting go of the smaller issues. They can take you from A to Z through the family court process and therefore can save you countless hours with your attorney. You will have the information and education to be able to take charge of your case, becoming a pro-active team member with your attorney and not just a bystander with a checkbook.

Hiring a divorce coach will change your life from reactive, confused, and stressed to proactive, confident, and affirmed.